Sense check, should I say this?

So I had my lovely baby boy just 8 days ago. My mum/parents have been a nightmare since the day I had him (this isn't out of character) including phoning up the hospital and bullying the staff. I had a Caesarian, a huge bleed and a bad reaction to some of the drugs. I have arranged for them to come over in a couple of days time. I've only just started feeling less poorly and due to how high maintenance they are, I just couldn't have handled it before. My mum called me just now and had a dig about how her friends 'think you're very strange for not having me round yet'. I, as ever, just apologised. On reflection, I'd like to challenge this as I've reached my absolute limit with the way she criticizes and manipulates me but I'd just like a sense check. How does this sound: 'I had a think about what you said to me and I just want you to be really clear that I don't care what your friends think. I have prioritized your needs for such a long time and have only asked for 2 weeks to heal and bond with my new baby. If your bragging rights are more important than my mental and physical health then perhaps I need to take longer'. Please do help me reword if you think it needs to be tweaked or added to. I'm really bad at speaking up for myself and this will be a first!

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It is spot on! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

I think that sounds great!

Check out the book adult children of emotional immature parents - game changer ❤️

Love it stick up for yourself and baby❤️

Hmm I’d say hey mum, the opinions of your friends are far from my concern right now. I’ve prioritized your needs for a long time, but this time I really needed to prioritize my mental and physical health. I appreciate your understanding and giving me the time to heal before visiting.

I think this is still standing up for yourself and putting your needs first, but at the same time not saying “I don’t bloody care about your friends or what they think of me and how that reflects on you” and removes the threat of “if you only care about yourself and showing off to your friends I don’t want you here”. I can sense the frustration in your message and I would surely be!! But you have a new baby and need to recover, best not add fuel to the fire. You’re in the right here of course, but treading a bit lighter will just make life a bit easier.

Yes 👏🏼👏🏼 This is perfect. You are well within your rights to do what you have done and her feelings do not matter one bit right now. Yours and babies do. Hope your feeling better and congratulations on LO 🫶🏼

@Sarah I've just looked it up, is that the one by Lindsay Gibson? Thank you so much for the recommendation x

@Shannon I agree, I really like your gentle wording x

Perfect. You go for it. Look after yourself and your baby. I hope you're ok x

Perfect xx mature responsible and polite

Nope, keep it the way you have it. I would only add a point that you are now a mum and she is no longer the top priority in your life. Your mental and physical health are more important. Congratulations, hun! Start holding your head up. Children give us strength we never knew we could have. A big reason why I named my daughter Angel. lol

Yes :) xx

Sounds perfect! Send it!then update us

Say what you said exactly how you worded it she needs to get the message done be sugar coating it and making it nice doesn’t get you anywhere

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